Tennis is a sport where talking to yourself is not just accepted but practically mandatory. After 25 years on the court, I’ve said all of these out loud. Some of them multiple times per session. If you’ve played more than three matches in your life, you’ve said at least seven of them too.
1. “That was literally millimetres out.”
It was not millimetres out. It was probably 15–20cm out. But the felt impression in your brain registered it as a near-miss and you are contractually obligated to report it as such. Your opponent is nodding politely. They have not seen the mark you’re referring to.
2. “Come ON.”
Said to yourself, said to the ball, said to the universe. The universal club tennis expression of disbelief that a ball you hit — a ball you fully committed to, a ball you were 100% certain was going in — somehow did not go in. Used approximately 40 times per match. Occasionally muttered; occasionally yelled. No correlation with how well or badly you’re actually playing.
3. “I’m serving better this week.”
Said after the first two first serves go in. You have now served a total of two balls. The sample size is not statistically meaningful. You are already revising your self-assessment upward. You will double fault three times in the next game and not mention this sentence again.
4. “My knee is actually feeling much better.”
Said in the first set, while ignoring the specific sensation in your knee that has been there for four months. By the end of the third set, your knee will be “a bit tight.” This is fine. This is how all recreational players manage recurring niggles. See our injury prevention guide for the version of this you should have done six months ago.
5. “I can’t believe how inconsistent I am today.”
Said as though today is unusual. You are, by definition, a recreational tennis player. Inconsistency is the defining feature of recreational tennis. This is not a character flaw. This is the sport. The fact that you were more consistent last Tuesday is a data point, not a baseline.
6. “I think I need new strings.”
Said immediately after missing a shot that was clearly technique. This is the tennis equivalent of blaming traffic for being late when you left the house at the last possible moment. Your strings might actually need replacing — read our restringing guide to check. But also: technique.
7. “Just one more set.”
Said when you have already played one more set than you planned. It is now 9:30pm. You have work at 7am. Your shoulder made a new sound in game four. You are absolutely playing one more set. You will never, at any point in your life, successfully say “just one more set” and mean it.
8. “I had them exactly where I wanted them.”
Said after losing a match where you were down 2–5 in the third and came back to 4–5. You did not have them where you wanted them. You were losing for almost the entire match. But you did make it close, and the arc of the narrative supports the statement, and honestly — yes. You had them there for a moment. Well played.
9. “This is the last time I’m playing him until I’ve had more lessons.”
Said sincerely. You will book the lessons. You will not book the lessons. You will play them again next Tuesday because it’s the only slot that works for both of you. You will lose again. You will say this again. This is the loop.
10. “I love this game.”
Said immediately after the match, sometimes during it, occasionally while you’re losing badly. Genuine, unironic, every single time. After everything above — the missed shots, the bad calls, the knee that isn’t “a bit tight” it’s actually quite tight — you love this game. That’s why all of us are here.
🎾 Wear It
If #10 is the truest thing on this list — and it is — the “You Had Me at Love-All” tee from LooseTennisBalls is for you. For the players who say #1–9 every session and still mean #10 every single time.
Related Reading
- 10 Thoughts Every Recreational Player Has During a Match
- 7 Types of Opponents at Every Tennis Club
- 12 Types of Club Tennis Players
- Best Tennis Gifts 2026
The Bottom Line
The fact that you’ve said all ten of these means you’re a real tennis player. Not a beginner going through the motions, not a pro above it all — a genuine recreational club player who cares enough about this game to feel all of it. That’s what makes tennis tennis. See you Tuesday. 🎾
